This is necessarily a follow-up to my previous diary entry. I have about 23 minutes before work. It's been only 13 days since I got back from Minneapolis. I cannot even begin to capture the breadth of what has happened in that deceptively short amount of time, but I'll try and hit the big stuff. I am moving to Minneapolis at the end of the month, with a stop in Chicago for Nathalie's birthday party.
Nathalie is extremely generous with her time and money to such a degree that it often leaves me gobsmacked. Among many other things that were said in a late night text conversation between Fran and I last night, I noted my growing appreciation for the unexpected challenge in accepting kindness from others.
Another idea that also stuck with me from that conversation is that love is an infinite energy source. You know, like the nuclear fusion at the heart of the sun. Fran has often referred to the sun, and being blinded, in connection to love. I know this holds special significance for her. Anyway, like the sun, we have lifetimes too, and I think the permeating feeling of love I've felt since Minneapolis has been a big part of why it feels like such an impossible-seeming amount of time has occured in just a little under 20 days. Fran is also sympathetic to my own feelings about how cool and important media is where people's desires shape the very forces of time and space. Tengen Toppa Gurenn Lagann is the easiest example for me. Unlimited Blade Works turned out to be this too. "my whole life has been unlimited blade works." my fucking god.
Oh, and speaking of Fran, she's been taking the time to read some of these diaries. I find it kind of funny to write as though I'm not aware of that fact. It feels like another joke that's just for us. Laughter is an infinite resource too, so I don't feel any guilt that there's laughter that feels like it's shared just between us. Fran is generous with her laughter (and her dancing) and it's another thing that I really value about her. Being moved by her feels like it pushes me down better pathways in myself. In plainer terms, I think by her very presence, she challenges me to be a better, kinder person. I think a lot of people feel this way about her. How can you not?
I could say a lot more on the sun, but I've also been trying to be more consciencous of reining myself in lately. It doesn't make me any less of a mustang.
Back to diary.